I studied my map for a while and found what appeared to be its most boring grid square. A square without road, house or river, just a single footpath, one pond, and the merest flutter of a lonely contour line. Here was nothing at all, neatly outlined within its crisp blue lines. 

It was unremarkable: there was nothing to remark on. It was the ideal place to begin. If this first outing was too boring for me on my boring map, then it would certainly be too boring for you, and that would be the end of the book straightaway. 

I folded up the map and headed out to have a look at nothing.